In this trailer we see Ali Larter (bad actress, only cast in things so she can walk around in her underwear) playing a temp who begins to stalk her boss, Idris Elba, and then tries to kill his wife, Beyonce (why? I don't know. She seems oddly cast against Elba). It's a movie we've seen a bazillion times before. The old: She's new (temp, nanny, receptionist, etc), she wants the boss, he's married, she finds out he's married and won't cheat, he tells her to buzz off, she gets angry, she tries to kill herself but makes it look like he tried to kill her, abuse her, etc, he gets arrested and blamed, she goes after the wife, they fight, someone falls through the floor/over the balcony, most likely temp dies, laying on the foyer, one leg bent awkwardly while wife buries her face in husbands chest as the police enter through the doorway with their lights flashing in the background as silently, the credits roll.
Sound about right?
Showing posts with label terrible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label terrible. Show all posts
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Places you eat at that suck!
This is a majorly off-topic topic, but never-the-less it needs to be covered.
Have you ever eaten at a place so terrible that you wonder why it's still open? A place where at lunchtime during the week there are about a dozen people scattered over 5 or 6 tables? The waitstaff is less than friendly, they don't even pretend to be friendly, and the busboy talks and acts like the mongoloid idiot who was born and bred in a tower or a dungeon? If you haven't, you are very lucky. If you have, you feel my pain.
A few years back I went to Red Lobster for the first time. I was on my way to my friend Eric's play and I was with a group of my friends. We decided, as a group, to head to Red Lobster; Travis said it was imperative that we go because of their fantastic cheddar biscuit things. I thought, "I've never been there, I like seafood (well, fish at least), why the hell not?" Well I should have said, "Hell, NO!" and ran like the wind bustling around a building on Eastern Michigan University's campus. I didn't do that. Instead, most of us were seated and we ordered food. I decided on fish and chips; how incredibly hard is it to make fish and chips? I mean, it's fish and chips not rocket science. I also ordered a salad with ranch, as did most of the table. Well, we ordered salads with ranch but really we got Ranch Soup. As Christian said, "I think I am done with this ranch soup", causing all of us to laugh hysterically as is often the case with this particular group of friends.
Remember when I said 'how hard can it be to make fish and chips"? Well, apparently those at Red Lobster decided to take on this challenge. I guess they won, depending on how you look at it. It was the worst $16 dollars for a meal I've ever spent. That's right, $16 for shitty shoe-string battered, tasteless fish (?) and what seemed to be those dehydrated shoe-string potatoes you buy in a can along with a pop and ranch soup. Needless to say, I decided right then and there that I would not return to a Red Lobster. I thought it was the worst place I had ever eaten at...until today it was.
Today...I went with my mom to Belleville, glorious Belleville (I know, don't be mad you didn't get to go to this fantastic, tropical locale) to have lunch with my cousin Kelly and Aunt Linda and to give Kelly some wedding presents. They couldn't make it but my mom and I decided we would stay and go eat at the restaurant, Dos Pesos, which was kind of creepily located inside a strip mall next to a Subway and I don't know what, on the other side. To say the least, the place wasn't exactly an eye-catcher when we walked in. It was this weird sort of pink/salmon color that was applied to the walls in a style that may have been trying to emulate stucco, even though stucco is applied to outside walls. Maybe they were trying to make the inside look like the outside? They failed. Pay no attention to the fact that it was lunchtime, on a Wednesday and there were about 12 people, at the most, scattered among 5 or 6 tables. Then the "busboy" (Igor? Dungeon troll?) brought out chips and salsa and muttered, "the red one is hot" before shuffling away. The menu had about nothing on it and I decided, much like Red Lobster, "How can one mess up a cheese quesadilla?" and again, they appear to have taken up my inaudible challenge. And again, they may have won? I have never experienced a greasy cheese quesadilla, how the hell do you make a quesadilla greasy? OMGWTFBBQWII? Holy hell that was the worst, worst, WORST meal I have ever eaten! Tasteless, gross, nasty, greasy quesadilla made with what appeared to be Muenster cheese. Why would you use Muenster cheese to make a quesadilla in a "Mexican" restaurant? I barely ate a third of one of the quesadillas and the rice, don't get me started on the rice! It was like orange, bland oval-shaped shit-pieces. Gross!
The whole entire experience reinforced my dislike of eating at places located in strip malls with insurance agencies, Thai/Chinese/Mediterranean food places, Tae Hwong Do Kwan Do (seriously, there was a place that was roughly named such. It was the "NEW" type of something) and a liquor store. It also makes me miss the little signs in L.A. that tell you, grade-wise, "Hey, you might be O.K. eating here", even if it means nothing it comforts you a lot.
So...add this restaurant to the list of restaurants that I shall never visit again!
Have you ever eaten at a place so terrible that you wonder why it's still open? A place where at lunchtime during the week there are about a dozen people scattered over 5 or 6 tables? The waitstaff is less than friendly, they don't even pretend to be friendly, and the busboy talks and acts like the mongoloid idiot who was born and bred in a tower or a dungeon? If you haven't, you are very lucky. If you have, you feel my pain.
A few years back I went to Red Lobster for the first time. I was on my way to my friend Eric's play and I was with a group of my friends. We decided, as a group, to head to Red Lobster; Travis said it was imperative that we go because of their fantastic cheddar biscuit things. I thought, "I've never been there, I like seafood (well, fish at least), why the hell not?" Well I should have said, "Hell, NO!" and ran like the wind bustling around a building on Eastern Michigan University's campus. I didn't do that. Instead, most of us were seated and we ordered food. I decided on fish and chips; how incredibly hard is it to make fish and chips? I mean, it's fish and chips not rocket science. I also ordered a salad with ranch, as did most of the table. Well, we ordered salads with ranch but really we got Ranch Soup. As Christian said, "I think I am done with this ranch soup", causing all of us to laugh hysterically as is often the case with this particular group of friends.
Remember when I said 'how hard can it be to make fish and chips"? Well, apparently those at Red Lobster decided to take on this challenge. I guess they won, depending on how you look at it. It was the worst $16 dollars for a meal I've ever spent. That's right, $16 for shitty shoe-string battered, tasteless fish (?) and what seemed to be those dehydrated shoe-string potatoes you buy in a can along with a pop and ranch soup. Needless to say, I decided right then and there that I would not return to a Red Lobster. I thought it was the worst place I had ever eaten at...until today it was.
Today...I went with my mom to Belleville, glorious Belleville (I know, don't be mad you didn't get to go to this fantastic, tropical locale) to have lunch with my cousin Kelly and Aunt Linda and to give Kelly some wedding presents. They couldn't make it but my mom and I decided we would stay and go eat at the restaurant, Dos Pesos, which was kind of creepily located inside a strip mall next to a Subway and I don't know what, on the other side. To say the least, the place wasn't exactly an eye-catcher when we walked in. It was this weird sort of pink/salmon color that was applied to the walls in a style that may have been trying to emulate stucco, even though stucco is applied to outside walls. Maybe they were trying to make the inside look like the outside? They failed. Pay no attention to the fact that it was lunchtime, on a Wednesday and there were about 12 people, at the most, scattered among 5 or 6 tables. Then the "busboy" (Igor? Dungeon troll?) brought out chips and salsa and muttered, "the red one is hot" before shuffling away. The menu had about nothing on it and I decided, much like Red Lobster, "How can one mess up a cheese quesadilla?" and again, they appear to have taken up my inaudible challenge. And again, they may have won? I have never experienced a greasy cheese quesadilla, how the hell do you make a quesadilla greasy? OMGWTFBBQWII? Holy hell that was the worst, worst, WORST meal I have ever eaten! Tasteless, gross, nasty, greasy quesadilla made with what appeared to be Muenster cheese. Why would you use Muenster cheese to make a quesadilla in a "Mexican" restaurant? I barely ate a third of one of the quesadillas and the rice, don't get me started on the rice! It was like orange, bland oval-shaped shit-pieces. Gross!
The whole entire experience reinforced my dislike of eating at places located in strip malls with insurance agencies, Thai/Chinese/Mediterranean food places, Tae Hwong Do Kwan Do (seriously, there was a place that was roughly named such. It was the "NEW" type of something) and a liquor store. It also makes me miss the little signs in L.A. that tell you, grade-wise, "Hey, you might be O.K. eating here", even if it means nothing it comforts you a lot.
So...add this restaurant to the list of restaurants that I shall never visit again!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Uwe Boll's (Soon-to-be-reality) Contra
'nuff said.
There would be a better version posted from IGN.com, however, the embed code keeps going to something that isn't this...so here's a crappier version and you can get the better version at www.ign.com and then go to Videos and black20 Trailer Park.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Remember this?...
No one else does either.
I was perusing the vault over at http://www.traileraddict.com/ and came across this little gem. And by gem, I mean piece of hardened shit laying in a hole. It's based on a video game (so Uwe Boll) and sucked (it was Uwe Boll). No, I didn't pay money to see this. I watched it On Demand at some point.
On another note...
The Alone in the Dark game came out. Well, the new one. I couldn't find a trailer that was good. But it looked good so I rented it on my Wii...what a piece of unwieldy shit! I spent about an hour trying to get this asshole to jump to this stupid ledge and then got so pissed off, I took it back to the store. It should have been called "Alone in the Dark" the video game, directed and written by Uwe Boll.
This...is what a good scary franchise is: Silent Hill
Or even better: This... The best game EVER! Ever...
I will not be swayed...ever. In fact, I am devoting an entire blog tomorrow to this fucking masterpiece!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
