Thursday, September 25, 2008

Splinter! This week's trailer o'crap!

Here's another shit-storm of awful I found out on the Internets!

It's called Splinter and it's a horror movie. About Splinters. Yeah...

Roughly I think it's about two loving young people (guy from stuff and girl from Mercury commercials) who go out to the country for the weekend (When is it anything but?). Then they get car jacked (?) by two rednecks (one male, one female). Somehow they go to a gas station and the one redneck girl goes in to the bathroom and there is someone inside and she's like "oh, I'm sorry" EEEEEEEKKKK! And then there is some kind of "creature", I don't know, that throws splinters (?) at them. Although, it looks a lot like spines, which aren't really splinters. Splinters are pieces of wood, spines could be something on an animal...this is stupid!

I really like the part at 0:52 where there is a cougar sound? I don't get that. Then at 1:16 there is something that sounds a lot like they stole the Predator-death rattle sound from Predator. What is this "beast", you ask?. It's either A.) A giant peice of wood, brought to life by either a science experiment or nuclear waste being poured on it, or B.) they ripped off the plot to Jeepers Creepers making it some monster that every 40 years comes to life to steal pieces of wood from abandoned buildings that time forgot (the very gas station our fair idiots are trapped in!). So...sit back, watch and enjoy what hopefully will not make it into theatres and instead go straight to the Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie night!

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