Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bioshock 2: Sea of Dreams teaser trailer

New teaser for Bioshock 2. What is it about? What?

Trailer shows a girl holding a Mr.Bubbles doll (?) and looking out to sea. Then it turns into the logo and then a little blue butterfly plops out.

Could that little girl be one of the Little Sister's? Could it? Tell me!


Sunday, December 28, 2008

Well wishes for the Samborski family

Today I learned of the death of a fellow schoolmate from high school. He was shot by a 16 year old kid after a routine traffic stop at 10 mile and Greenfield in Oak Park, MI early this morning. He apparently took the kid back to his apartment building to either turn him over to a parent (of which there appears to have been none present) or to affirm his identity when there was an apparent scuffle and Officer Mason Samborski was shot and killed. Meanwhile, this little shit left him there to die as he ran back to his car and took off, only turning yourself after 12 some hours. Absolutely horrible story, a terrible thing to end the yearwith. Here's to a wonderful person who was what we all wish cops were, and a gorgeous, lovely wife and daughter who don't deserve to have their lives ruined over some little shit's actions.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28404449/

Friday, December 26, 2008

New BSG clips Part 2



Why are you (Adama? Tigh?) going into the water?




What's goin' on with Roslin?




I don't think Adama is handling this Tigh-is-a-Cylon thing real well.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Shoplifting Dog

This dog made me smile!



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Fancy house full of lights, dances to music!

This fancy house plays Amazing Grace...albeit a techno version, but damn, it's sweet!

I don't imagine the neighbors find it so sweet... but this is cool!

Merry X-Mas to everyone out there!
I recommend clicking the HD link!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Highlight of the day.

Baby Poops Herself!





Because I am relatively new to this crap and have not figured out how to add stories from other sites properly...you get a link. I think I can add the fun little pictures though...

Funny enough I had one of these types of dolls when I was a little girl. She would pee into her little toilet when you fed her a baby bottle of water. Then I stopped playing with her and she started to pee battery acid, so my mom threw her away. Boo:(



















































Friday, December 19, 2008

New BSG clips

Kara-You Will Know the Truth:


The Truth-Who is the Final Cylon?


Truth Promo 2

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Alone in the Dark 2

Oh good a sequel! Remember the first? Nope? Well, I do and it sucked. Imagine the original movie with a big budget, bad screenplay, well-known actors and bad directing (Uwe Boll, I believe) and throw in the glorious look of Sony Handicam video and this is what this movie appears to be. Appears is used really loosely, since it will probably be much, much worse that I imagine.

I'm not really sure why they went with an asian to play Edward Carnby when Christian Slater played him in the first crapfest. I bet I know why...there is probably going to be some karate or other type fighting, because that would make complete sense.


Cold Prey

Based solely on the fact that this is a movie from over-seas, I will say that it might be good. The synopsis is not that great. It's about some teens on a snowboarding trip when one gets injured and the trek into some abandoned ski lodge. Why is there an abandoned ski lodge? I don't know. But "something" already lives there and it gets angry they are there. So it starts attacking them and slashing them. My guess is that it's a mutilated person that was left up there after he was attacked years ago. He then killed a bunch of people causing the owners of the ski lodge to shut the place down. Now he lives up there, waiting for unsuspecting tourists to stumble in where he will kill them.

Check out the trailer:


Obsessed. The movie we've seen a thousand times before...

In this trailer we see Ali Larter (bad actress, only cast in things so she can walk around in her underwear) playing a temp who begins to stalk her boss, Idris Elba, and then tries to kill his wife, Beyonce (why? I don't know. She seems oddly cast against Elba). It's a movie we've seen a bazillion times before. The old: She's new (temp, nanny, receptionist, etc), she wants the boss, he's married, she finds out he's married and won't cheat, he tells her to buzz off, she gets angry, she tries to kill herself but makes it look like he tried to kill her, abuse her, etc, he gets arrested and blamed, she goes after the wife, they fight, someone falls through the floor/over the balcony, most likely temp dies, laying on the foyer, one leg bent awkwardly while wife buries her face in husbands chest as the police enter through the doorway with their lights flashing in the background as silently, the credits roll.

Sound about right?

Echelon Conspiracy...Ooh!

Ooh! It's scary! E.R. (Shane West) gets a cell phone, mysteriously, in the mail and the company that sent it won't tell him where it came from or who sent it. Then, it starts talking to him and telling him to do things. Like play a slot machine where he wins a shit-ton of money before security comes after him. Then he runs and other stuff and to be honest I don't really think it matters what happens in the trailer because it's clear, complete with the stupid woman's voice, that they are making an Eagle Eye of the cell phone variety. I like when the phone tells him not to turn it off or it will kill him. What if he has to get updates? I know my IPhone gets a little pissy when I don't turn it off periodically to do whatever it does when you turn it off. The last scene with the guy almost getting hit by one car and then probably getting hit by another car coming the other direction, makes no sense.

Maybe they can add in a bit about how the cellphone is leading spirits from another realm in to kill all of humanity so they can take over the world? That wouldn't be like another genre-film that starred Kristen Bell and has made at least one direct-to-video sequel.

Ugh.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Places you eat at that suck!

This is a majorly off-topic topic, but never-the-less it needs to be covered.

Have you ever eaten at a place so terrible that you wonder why it's still open? A place where at lunchtime during the week there are about a dozen people scattered over 5 or 6 tables? The waitstaff is less than friendly, they don't even pretend to be friendly, and the busboy talks and acts like the mongoloid idiot who was born and bred in a tower or a dungeon? If you haven't, you are very lucky. If you have, you feel my pain.

A few years back I went to Red Lobster for the first time. I was on my way to my friend Eric's play and I was with a group of my friends. We decided, as a group, to head to Red Lobster; Travis said it was imperative that we go because of their fantastic cheddar biscuit things. I thought, "I've never been there, I like seafood (well, fish at least), why the hell not?" Well I should have said, "Hell, NO!" and ran like the wind bustling around a building on Eastern Michigan University's campus. I didn't do that. Instead, most of us were seated and we ordered food. I decided on fish and chips; how incredibly hard is it to make fish and chips? I mean, it's fish and chips not rocket science. I also ordered a salad with ranch, as did most of the table. Well, we ordered salads with ranch but really we got Ranch Soup. As Christian said, "I think I am done with this ranch soup", causing all of us to laugh hysterically as is often the case with this particular group of friends.

Remember when I said 'how hard can it be to make fish and chips"? Well, apparently those at Red Lobster decided to take on this challenge. I guess they won, depending on how you look at it. It was the worst $16 dollars for a meal I've ever spent. That's right, $16 for shitty shoe-string battered, tasteless fish (?) and what seemed to be those dehydrated shoe-string potatoes you buy in a can along with a pop and ranch soup. Needless to say, I decided right then and there that I would not return to a Red Lobster. I thought it was the worst place I had ever eaten at...until today it was.

Today...I went with my mom to Belleville, glorious Belleville (I know, don't be mad you didn't get to go to this fantastic, tropical locale) to have lunch with my cousin Kelly and Aunt Linda and to give Kelly some wedding presents. They couldn't make it but my mom and I decided we would stay and go eat at the restaurant, Dos Pesos, which was kind of creepily located inside a strip mall next to a Subway and I don't know what, on the other side. To say the least, the place wasn't exactly an eye-catcher when we walked in. It was this weird sort of pink/salmon color that was applied to the walls in a style that may have been trying to emulate stucco, even though stucco is applied to outside walls. Maybe they were trying to make the inside look like the outside? They failed. Pay no attention to the fact that it was lunchtime, on a Wednesday and there were about 12 people, at the most, scattered among 5 or 6 tables. Then the "busboy" (Igor? Dungeon troll?) brought out chips and salsa and muttered, "the red one is hot" before shuffling away. The menu had about nothing on it and I decided, much like Red Lobster, "How can one mess up a cheese quesadilla?" and again, they appear to have taken up my inaudible challenge. And again, they may have won? I have never experienced a greasy cheese quesadilla, how the hell do you make a quesadilla greasy? OMGWTFBBQWII? Holy hell that was the worst, worst, WORST meal I have ever eaten! Tasteless, gross, nasty, greasy quesadilla made with what appeared to be Muenster cheese. Why would you use Muenster cheese to make a quesadilla in a "Mexican" restaurant? I barely ate a third of one of the quesadillas and the rice, don't get me started on the rice! It was like orange, bland oval-shaped shit-pieces. Gross!

The whole entire experience reinforced my dislike of eating at places located in strip malls with insurance agencies, Thai/Chinese/Mediterranean food places, Tae Hwong Do Kwan Do (seriously, there was a place that was roughly named such. It was the "NEW" type of something) and a liquor store. It also makes me miss the little signs in L.A. that tell you, grade-wise, "Hey, you might be O.K. eating here", even if it means nothing it comforts you a lot.

So...add this restaurant to the list of restaurants that I shall never visit again!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Two snippets of movies...

So, I had time to kill today while I was checking trailers. I went in to 4 Christmases and about 30 minutes and then stayed after the trailers for The Day The Earth Stood Still. Keeping in mind that I like all genres of movies, which one do you think I'd prefer to go back and finish watching?

Hint-It didn't open this weekend and it isn't a romantic comedy.





*It's 4 X-mases. Why? Because the Keanu joint was boring the ever-loving shit out of me and wasn't making much sense. Plus, they had really bad computer-animated helicopters.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Uwe Boll's (Soon-to-be-reality) Contra



'nuff said.

There would be a better version posted from IGN.com, however, the embed code keeps going to something that isn't this...so here's a crappier version and you can get the better version at www.ign.com and then go to Videos and black20 Trailer Park.

The X-Files: I Want To Believe Review

Like a horrible cliche that I've heard a million times in reference with this movie, I wanted to believe it would be good. I really, really wanted to believe this movie would be good. The reason why you ask? Because I love The X-Files.

I don't know what it was that drew me to the series from the get-go, but I remember pleading with my mom to let me stay at home on Friday nights in order to watch the show. I was usually made to go to the football games that my sister was marching in and because these were the days before Tivo, DVR's and online viewing, if you didn't set your VCR, you were shit out of luck. But regardless of these facts, I was able to catch most of the show in one way or another and even though a large part of the series, the mythology if you will, regarded one of my two greatest fears/paranoia's, that being aliens, I loved it. I looked forward to being scared by some weird genetic freak-twin that detaches from its brother and murders the other freaks at the Freak Show (Humbug; Season 2); I still call Doug Hutchison 'Tooms' (Squeeze/Tooms; Season 1); Alex Krycek was one of my biggest crushes (Nick Lea still does it for me); 'Jose Chung's From Outer Space' (Season 3) and 'Bad Blood' (Season 5) were two of the most memorable, funny episodes of television I've seen; I was happy I'd recorded 'Home' (Season 4) because it was so controversial FOX said they'd never air it again. For almost the entire series' run I was enthralled, scared, humored, and followed the relocation from Friday night to Sunday night; I even continued to watch, though in a diminished capacity, when the new agents (Doggett and Reyes) came on and the magic of Vancouver was replaced by Los Angeles. There was just something about the mountains, coasts, forests and towns of Vancouver and Canada that made the series have it's creepy, moodiness. And at the end of the run, I wept for an amazing show that had little hope at the beginning and was so different from anything else on T.V.

Then came The X-Files movie, which kept to the mythology and which I really liked, it even had a great soundtrack. And then there was nothing. The stars went on with their lives. But last year I heard word of a new movie! Then came word that it wouldn't be related to the mythology and to which a casual or non-viewer could watch and not be lost; and there was where the worry began. Deep down there was that funny tingling in the pit of my stomach, that tickle of worry. Why would you make it unrelated to the mythology? Well, maybe it will be a stand-alone film, like the circus freak episode? Then I later read that the synopsis would roughly be: FBI agent Monica O'Bannon disappears and Mulder/Scully get called in to help, even though they are no longer working for the FBI, to determine if Father Crissman is really a psychic who knows her whereabouts. Really? That doesn't sound very X-Files-y.

Then the trailer came out, I was intrigued. I didn't get to see the movie in the theatre though and just had a chance to rent it the other day. It wasn't bad, it also wasn't good. There was no magic to it, no passion, no...nothing. I get it's a wrap-up and end it once and for all film, but where was the X-File?

(Spoilers Ahead!)

The film opens with the Agent O'Bannon being abducted by Cylon Leoben (Callum Keith Rennie) and some other man and then goes to what seems like the first of many unnecessary scenes of Scully treating some boy in a hospital and digging up research on his rare condition, but it makes more sense about an hour later; now these scenes just seem boring and unrelated to anything going on in the movie. Scully gets a request from the FBI to get Mulder to come help find this missing agent and to determine if Father Crissman is what he claims to be, or is he just a former priest who was convicted of molesting alter boys? Mulder, of course, comes to believe there is something going on here and Scully doesn't. But my question for almost the entire movie was: Where is the X-File? When am I going to get scared of watching this at night, in the dark, in my living room? Apparently the answer is: Never.

I still can't watch a significant portion of the series episodes without having to keep the light on in my room at night; I wanted this to be the case for this movie, and it wasn't. So why didn't I get it? All of the hullabaloo eventually comes to an end but it does so with little interest, intrigue and fanfare, and that made me sad. However, the movie was exquisitly shot, with amazing scenery (Vancouver and other parts of Canada, of course) and the usual quota of 95% of the cast from Da Vinci's Inquest and BSG. And I really liked that the snow was actually snow.

So I gave the film a 75% because I didn't like it, but I certainly didn't hate it and could, in theory, watch it again. But I wanted more, so much more, of that magic that captivated me from 1993-2002; monsters, aliens, ghosts and that Mark Snow-violin-prick-spine-tingling-oh-crap-there's-something-there music and theme song that I connect with one of the reasons for loving the medium of film and television.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Terminator: Salvation Japanese Trailer (now without Mary Hart's shrill voice)

Tonight on Entertainment Tonight they are showing this trailer, without the Japanese subtitles, and to save you the torture of having to sit through that show, even though it aired over an hour ago, I am posting this here.

It looks awesome, especially if you are a nerd, geek or Terminator fan, all three of which I am. I am not too sure about what it is about but what I've learned is: Set in post-apocalyptic 2018, John Connor is the man fated to lead the human resistance against Skynet and its army of Terminators. But the future Connor was raised to believe in is altered in part by the appearance of Marcus Wright, a stranger whose last memory is of being on death row. Connor must decide whether Marcus has been sent from the future, or rescued from the past. As Skynet prepares its final onslaught, Connor and Marcus both embark on an odyssey that takes them into the heart of Skynet’s operations, where they uncover the terrible secret behind the possible annihilation of mankind. *courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures and IMDB.com.

Sounds fucking awesome to me!

The Proposal

Oh look, a movie! A movie that doesn't sound real good...at all. Ryan Reynolds play an employee at this company and he's late. And Sandra Bullock plays his boss and she's a bitch. She finds out that she's getting deported because her Visa is denied and just then He (not Jesus) walks in. She's quick on her toes and says they are getting married! In Alaska!

Away to Alaska they go and many things happen, included but not limited to: They are forced to kiss and fake kiss, then are made to real kiss and they do; they walk; they walk some more and she sort of-slaps him; Betty White is the Grandma; she takes a shower and for some reason has no clothes; he walks in shirtless and they run into each other; she tries on a dress and has little breasts and...they fall in real love!

Formulaic and boring, even with Ryan Reynolds.

Notebooks.com's Magic Giveaway with HP and Microsoft

So today my sister told me about this giveaway going on over at www.notebooks.com and about all the things you could win if you are randomly chosen to be the winner on December 12th, so I decided that I would join in with this giveaway and see if I could win.

Of course, all the prizes are a bit much for one person to take away since they are giving away like, a hundred things (really not that many, but it seems like it). There are different tasks you can complete to earn points, one of which is to say what you would donate to what non-profit or school and why. I chose to donate a computer to the Oakland Children's Hospital and not just because you get bonus points, but primarily because I couldn't think of someone to donate it to. I'd also give some little stuffed animals, because kids need stuffed animals. I'd also give them the Kung-Fu Panda DVD, because it's a kids movie that I don't need. I would like to give a computer to the Michigan Humane Society, because that is where almost all of my cat's have come from and they are special to me.

So, while this is clearly not at all like my normal blogs, I ask people to go and take a stab at this contest. HP is a great company and I am typing this on my HP too. They are good computers and also reliable and affordable...so go give it a shot!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Games for "Girls"

What is a game for "girls"? Well, I would say it would be a game that boys wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. You know, the games about ponies, shopping, and hairstyling; if you can call these "games" at all. I don't know who would want to play some of these games, but considering that I see a commercial for a new one every day, there must be a market. I'd guess that market to be girls around 9-15 years old who have no imagination of their own and so turn to a game about taking care of puppies and kitties and shopping, because what other excuse could there be?

I grew up playing video games and I can't really say that I ever felt the need to pretend to play gymnastics via a little digital girl on a balance beam, I just never did. What I did feel the need to do, however, was pretend to be a little Italian plumber who jumped around in various worlds, killing various little creatures, all in a quest to rescue a princess from a giant reptile. Or play a little guy with a sword also off on a quest to rescue a princess...you notice a theme with games here? Oh, I also spent loads of time outside playing and using my imagination to play with real dolls.

So, because I hate "girl" games (games made specifically for girls that include ponies, puppies, babysitting and cooking) that make it seem like girls have no interest in real games and only think about a few things, including shopping and babysitting, I decided to profile some of the ridiculous games that various companies decided to talk-down to girls with. (All descriptions are from Amazon.com)

1. Imagine Fashion Designer New York by Ubi Soft
Here's some exciting crap you can do with this exciting game! Enter a fashion house in New York and dress up digital people in clothes. Doesn't that sound fun?!? Gee golly, you get to pretend to be a fashion designer! Whee!

2. Littlest Pet Shop by EA
What's better that a real animal that you get to touch, feed and walk/play with? Why, a fake one, that's what! You can have hours (seconds?) of fun playing with a digital, fake, programmed animal. And even better, there are now Winter, Jungle and Garden versions!



3. Build A Bear Workshop by American Game Factory
O.K. this is getting pretty lame. There is an actual store where you can go and touch physical stuffed animals. Why would you want to play with a game of digital animals? Why? How is this a game? How? There is nothing that you do in this game but poke at the screen with a stylus and build fake stuffed animals. FTW?

4. Disney's High School Musical: Making the Cut by Disney
Want something more lame than the movies? Well, here you go! You get to make them dance and sing all across America! How fun is that? (It's not!)

5. All Star Cheer Squad by THQ
Pretend you're a cheerleader! Because you can't go outside/join a squad in real life! Rah Rah! You get to use the Wii fit board to make a fake person jump and jive (jiving not included in game)

6. Imagine Teachers by UBI soft
Pretend you're a teacher with fake students!

7. Imagine Babyz by Ubi Soft
This may be the worst! Pretend to take care of a baby, because they no longer make babydolls? Why is this considered a game? You can go find some mother who wants you to watch their baby and get paid for it in real life! Not pay $30 to do it! $30? Come on! This isn't a game.

8. The rest of the Imagine Whatever series by Ubi Soft.
There are a crapload of other games that Ubi Soft put out for girls and it seems the farther I creep down the Amazon list, the worse they get. And pretty much all of them are things you can do in some form or another in real life, and so don't need to "play" a game to do so. Is this really why you pay $200 for a game system? So you can play My Pretty Pony or Watch My Baby?

As you can see, I am not a fan of these "games" and seeing how most of them require you to do nothing but poke the screen with a stylus, I don't think they are actually games!

The Boat That Rocked

Based solely on the description over at Trailer Addict (which, I assume, was given to them by the movie company) I would never even think to see this movie. But the cast is quite awesome and it looks funny.

So here is why I disliked the synopsis: "It's about a band of rogue DJ's..." What the hell is a band of rogue DJ's? Rogue machines, rogue robots, rogue computer programs, rogue C.I.A. agents...that I get, but rogue DJ's? Usually I just think of DJ's going to a club at 11p.m. spinning some tunes and banging Lindsay Lohan (eww...yes, eww. It's eww for both sides of that pairing), I don't think of them as being 'rogue'.


Chandni Chowk to China

What the hell is this? I think it's some kind of mashup of a karate movie that should star that guy from that one movie, "Kung Fu Soccer" (that's not a real movie is it?) and a Ballywood movie. Is that what it is? Is it?

The description says something about some simpleton cook who goes to Shanghai from Delhi to find his destiny or something. I don't get that from the trailer. What I get is that they had two movies that didn't equal two movies and so they took both movies, crammed them together and then made them one...

That's what happened.


Nothing But the Truth

I can't say if I'm really excited about this movie and that would be because it sounds like an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent or one of the Law & Order's. You know, because of the fact that it was "a case ripped from the headlines". Not to say that I'm not a fan of Law & Order, because I will watch the shit out of that show if nothing else is on.

This movie appears to be about a reporter who goes to another woman and tells her that she is going to out her as a covert C.I.A. Operative in the paper the next day. Well, then she gets arrested and put on trial and the rest of the movie is sure to be about how unfair it is that she was in jail and wasn't a traitor and blah blah blah. However, she should be put in jail for outing a government operative and possibly making that woman a target, as well as her family and also maybe the whole country...so I can't really say I feel sorry for her.

I think this is based on a true story, in some instances. I think I remember a story like this, right?


Friday, December 5, 2008

A new Friday the 13th Trailer! Yay!

And by 'YAY', I mean whoopity-doo.

Why are all of the actors almost 30? And some of them aren't really that bad. Take Jared Padalecki for instance, I very much like him. He's good on Supernatural and that's about it. He was in the remake for House of Wax and that pretty much was terrible; it had Paris Hilton in it for the love of crap! Ugh. But, that said he is enjoyable on Supernatural and has potential. Plus, he isn't bad to look at, even though I used to call him a WB Rat...I take it back.

Now to the trailer: It looks like every other stupid "Someone is chasing me around, I have to run, scream and fall" as evidenced by the part in the trailer where the girl runs, scream and falls and no doubt gets that machete to her face. Terrible. This could be good if in the remake we find out that Jason is really his mother who is the killer and kills people because her son was killed...oh wait, that's the original.

This should be awful. And rated PG-13 and make money because teenagers will go and throw candy at people and make me mad...if I were to see this, and I'm not going to see this.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Romancing the Stone remake...and a music video!

Some retard in Hollywood wants to remake Romancing the Stone (as well as Arthur with Russell Brand (yarp!)) and no doubt they will cast Matthew McConaughey and young Goldie Hawn (I couldn't remember her name). It will most likely be like that awful Fool's Gold (?) movie they made together only named Romancing the Stone. Sounds good, doesn't it? Yeah...



On another note: They will most likely want to remake the title track, Romancing the Stone by Eddi Grant. Only this time it will be made by say, Nickelback, Creed or Jessica Simpson. I'll go with Jessica Simpson. And this is why: If ever there is a song, good or bad, that is already made, Jessica Simpson can take it and fuck it up. She'll make those faces that look like she is having a stroke and crapping her pants at the same time and she'll run all over the place with her voice. Have you ever heard her cover of Robbie Williams' Angels? It is probably the most atrocious sounding piece of garbage I have ever heard. I'm posting it below.



But anyway, back to Eddit Grant. As a lover of all things 80's cheese, I have never heard this song. It is very bad, but it's bad in that 1980's way...and I likey. So here it is:



However terrible this might be, it's super-duper catchy.


Here's the Simpson version of Angels. The over-the-topiness and stupid faces begin around 1:06.



Here's the original, good version:

Awesome digital art

The following link is for a site featuring some awesome digital artwork. The site says a little about each artist and shows a couple of paintings. My favorite is the work by Raphael Lacoste that has the Art Deco-meets-the-future-flair. It's almost at the end...


http://psdtuts.com/articles/web/54-mind-blowing-digital-paintings/

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

While She Was Out

A movie where Kim Basinger screams (her specialty) and runs. Wasn't she in some movie called Cell Phone or something where she ran around with a cell phone? This looks terrible.

Basically she is a woman who gets battered around by her asshole of a husband until one day she goes to the mall to buy wrapping paper (I almost wrote rapping) and can't find a spot and then somehow gets into it with some kids who chase her around for some unknown reason...until...I don't really care.

What I do care about though, is this: Did that tire iron just make a clickity-clack noise like a gun being cocked? I watched it several times, and it does appear that it does!

Lame!


Friday, November 28, 2008

"Walmart worker trampled to death by assholes seeking a deal!" An off-topic commentary

This is why I do not participate in Black Friday shopping. Lining up at 9p.m. Thanksgiving night to get a DVD player for $30 and Incerdible Hulk for $9 alone, is annoying to me, but then causing a surge of other idiots to cram into a doorway, knocking over someone and trampling them to death to get those "deals", is beyond even words. I hope not only the assholes who killed this man, but the morons who sat around and bitched that they were in line since Thursday and had to leave after someone was killed, have a nice long life to think over their behavior and realize a cheap 50" plasma screen tv isn't worth killing people in a mad rush just to be told they don't have any more of that item.
Maybe they can then try killing whoever was the lucky 'tard to get the ticket for that item?

And to think that man who got killed by these vermin just spent the night before giving thanks for living in this country with his family and friends only to be killed the next morning by people who had nothing better to do but get in line at 9 p.m. the night before. In my opinion, this whole Black Friday thing gets more and more out of hand every year. Stores open earlier, close later, have bigger "deals" on more items with lower quantities and people fight over these things year after year. The stores may make a profit in the end, but what does it say about our society wherein we will go fight over a television, Gameboy or Cabbage Patch Kid? To me, it says no wonder people hate us the world over.

In some countries I could see swarming to get at a chopper full of supplies being delivered to a war/famine covered region. I could even understand scrambling to get out of a doorway if a building is on fire and there is only one exit. But over a vacuum, bag of cherries, or an Ipod? No.

Whoever was at this store and caused this to happen (customers) and whoever was there and did nothing to help anyone who got hurt, and whoever was there and began to complain they were there all night and wanted to shop, should at the very least be ashamed of themselves until the end of their miserable lives.

I never have, nor will I ever participate in a ritual I find stupid and barbaric, as I find Black Friday. Here's an FYI to those involved...the manufacturer's didn't make one of every item, there is plenty out there for you for the remaining 364 days of the year, and if killing someone over a "deal" is worth it to you, well then, you are a sad animal indeed.

Monday, November 24, 2008

True Blood episode 12 "You'll Be the Death of Me"

Last episode of the season...
New episodes this summer...I can't wait.

Oh, it's so good!


Friday, November 21, 2008

Fired Up!

Oh...look...what seems like Bring It On 40. However, it isn't. It's Fired Up!

It's what you get greeted with when you are dragged to see Twilight this weekend. It's about two idiots in High School/College (?) who hit on some girl and then somehow go to cheer camp. Where one falls in love with girl mentioned above and the other falls for the cheer camp teacher (Molly Simms). Hilarity does or doesn't ensue (it doesn't).

Seriously, it looks terrible and awful all at once.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hi! This isn't funny!

I remember the olden days, the days of yore, if you will. Back when the Wayans weren't just the funniest black family, but the funniest family period. Back in the days of:



Or this:



Yet now we get this:




What the hell is this? It isn't funny, it's horrible. There wasn't one second that I found funny. Not one!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

2012 THE TEASER!

I know everyone will be on the edge of their seats awaiting the new Roland Emmerich film. And after the astounding awesomeness that was The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 B.C., who can blame them. I am, of course, being incredibly sarcastic, because Roland Emmerich movies suck. They didn't always suck, or maybe they did and I just forgot?

I remember liking Stargate...maybe if I watch it again, I might change my mind. I didn't mind Independence Day at the time, but when I watch it now it really kind of sucks.

What is the worst thing about this trailer? I can't really decide. It might be that John Cusack, Amanda Peet and Chiwitel Ejiofor agreed to it. It could be that they ask you to Google 2012 in order to get some information. I don't know. I am pretty sure that the main reason it sucks is because I know what to expect. Bad story and bad effects.

I know all about the Mayan end-of-days they say will come in 2012. I've read books before and I don't need Roland Emmerich to lay it out for me in 120+ minutes of retardation...thank you

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Pink Panther 2

I'm sorry, what is happening here? What? This isn't funny, is it? It can't be!
It looks like Steve Martin decided to make another Pink Panther movie and sully the memory of Peter Sellers...this is just terrible.

Looks like we are still using the 'Hamburger' bit. We get it, he's French and can't say hamburger. And it would appear that the old diamond is once again stolen...so hilarity must ensue.*




*clearly, it doesn't.

Australia

This movie has it all:
Baz Luhrman
Explosions
Hugh Jackman
Epic-ness
Scenery
Romance
Aboriginals
Accents
and Australia

Can't wait to see it!


Fallout 3 Obsession Continues!

Yeah, my obsession with this game is still going on. I can't explain it! I'll sit in front of the television for about an entire day playing it. Here is some gameplay in the form a some video put up on YouTube:
If you dial the Vault-Tec number there is a message that plays...I love that shit!




The video is a little stale and it doesn't really give you the experience of how fun the game is. It's almost as good as Bio Shock...almost.

You play whoever you name your character (mine is a male named Barnaby. Why Barnaby? Why not?) and you are the son of James, a scientist in Vault 101. The game begins with you being born, where you choose the name and sex of your character and you grow up through the years until you are around 20 something. One day your father escapes the Vault and takes off into the Wasteland and the Overseer of the vault decides that he has to find you, for some reason. So you escape as well...into the wild blue Wasteland.

Now you are out all by yourself gathering up side missions and following the main mission of finding your father. And having an absolute blast while doing so. I'm not sure if it is the post-Apocalyptic remains of civilization or the mixture of shooter and adverture game that so turns me on, but I love it. The reason I am not the best at some of these games is that I like to kill off everything that is on the level...all of them. I can do that here. I can clear a building and take everything, or almost everything I can get my hands on. So far there have not been any of those typical moments where a monster pops out to kill you from a glass window you just passed; I keep expecting it, but so far, nothing. And I really like that there hasn't been any of that. I like the freedom of running around stealing things and finding ammo and books and seeing all the detail that was put into something.

I've never been a huge fan of RPG's, because I always think about Final Fantasy or something akin to that, but this game has turned me. Keep it up Bethesda!

True Blood Episode 10 "I Don't Wanna Know"/11

So we learned a few things this past week on True Blood...mainly that Sam Trammell keeps getting hotter...but I digress.

Check out last week's episode below and below that, next week's episode, "To Love is to Bury"







Smoldering hot is right!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

It's Official...

Fallout 3 is awesome!




I can't stop playing the damn game! I played for most of the day today and want to play for many more hours...
But this must be watched first:


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Delgo...should be called Crapo!

I don't know why you would want to see this...please tell me you don't want to. It looks so bad!
I don't really care what it's about, since the characters look like some kind of mix between ape, Dark Crystal-creature, lizards and something out of my nightmares, but I assume it's about "Delgo" who falls in love with and has to save "girl". There is also "evil lady" who tries to kidnap "girl" and then, I don't know, there is a Lord of the Rings-style battle complete with even more creepy animated things.

Terrible! And coming to a theatre near you!*



*Yes, that's right...it's not straight-to-video.

Castle Trailer.

Well, since I love me some Nathan Fillion whenever I can get him, here's a little treat! A new series on ABC coming mid-season. I can only assume that the folks over at ABC fell in love with the Nicest Man in Hollywood when he was on Desperate Housewives last season.

Show looks fun and I like!

Lost Season 5 Promo!

Time: Early 2009.

Place: My T.V. in my house!
I can NOT wait for this! *

*Desmond better not die!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Let the Right One In...I don't think so!

I was, at first, unsure of this...then I watched the trailer and also a clip which I may be able to find and post.

It's about a boy who befriends a strange girl. Turns out she's a vampire and...yep, it looks like she starts to kill people. Oh good...that sounds like fun.

Welp, Guillermo del Toro said it was good, so it will be. Plus, it looks good.*









*Oh good, no one has it here, because Michigan sucks! Hooray!

17 Again...eh!

Remember this?


THE best "I woke up as a child again" movie. Really, the only one that is worth watching.

Of course there were others. Most recently 13 Going on 30, with Jennifer Garner, which was cute. But this?




This is awful. And unwanted, much like the earlier post for Friday the 13th trailer.
Watch Big! be remade (come on, that's what is going on here) with someone New Line thinks is the new Tom Hanks (he's not!). Matthew Perry falls into a vortex and now he's Zach Efron! And he's going to school with his kids! And he thinks his wife/friends mother is hot! But he's already married to her!! Oh my God, this is so awesome!*


*It's not.

It's so bad, I don't even care that the quality is so fucking awful!

If you managed to make it past that crap-fest above, and got to the text written here...congratulations! You are now more dumber (see, I watched it and now I say things like 'more dumber')!

It's the trailer for the remake no one asked for, Friday the 13th! Even though, like Saw, there have been around six thousand sequels and prequels someone thought, "Hey, let's make a new one. One with two people who should be better than this, even though one of them was in that House of Wax remake no one wanted. Yeah, the one with that herpes ridden Hilton girl". I imagine the exchange went something like that.

So anyway, it appears the "reimagined" version consists of two people going to a house (?) and finding a bed that says Jason on it and then a head in a shrine-hole and then the dude falls in the floor and the girl screams over and over again for no reason...oh and then at the end, she falls down and screams! I know, unexpected, right?

Friday, October 17, 2008

Changeling

Angelina Jolie stars as Christine Collins, a woman in 1928 Los Angeles whose son was abducted and returned to her after a five month search. Only problem is that he is not her son, or so she says. The LAPD insist this is her son and go so far as to plop her in a mental institution because she won't sign a paper saying he is. It's about time there was another movie that looks as good as L.A. Confidential, one of my personal favorites! Changeling was directed by Clint Eastwood and also stars the wonderful and overlooked Jeffrey Donovan and Colm Feore.

Limited release next Friday, theatres everywhere the following Friday!


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thursday Night TV 10/16/08

This is your option for 10:00. There are two...so DVR/Tape one of them!

Thursday Night TV 10/16/08 9:00

Supernatural "Monster Movie"

The guys head out on a case involving...Vampires, Werewolves and Mummies. And it's in black and white.



Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Literal version of Head Over Heels

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Trailers, trailers, everywhere!

Franklyn
I think this is a very early version of the trailer for this movie, but why would you release it in this capacity? It makes not sense. Here is what is going on: There is a part where Eva Green says "...I die ev..." and then it moves to a new part of the trailer. Ryan Phillipe plays Jonathan Preist (?) and tonight he is going to kill a man. Two Worlds Existing in Parallel. Mask come off, weird guy's with hats. How Far Will You Go For Love. Eva Green's eyes, falling into a bed. And Vengeance. Change music from Max Payne trailer. "Four years and all of a sudden you want to" "offer you a job". Individual is coming back to Meanwhile City and they want to give Ryan a chance to make amends. Fighting. Same music (chunk, chunk, chunk) used in beginning again! Music from The Fountain. Eva Green saying what I said above. "Who's Franklyn?" Zoom in on apartment label Franklyn while voiceover repeats the thing I said above...again. Between What Is Real. Eva Green with red hair and some dude. And What Is Imagined. More The Fountain score. Fighting. And What Is Feared. Four Souls. Will Collide.
If that makes no sense to you, you have just read what the trailer is...incoherant. It looks interesting enough but...what the hell is going on? Maybe a later version will make sense?





The Haunting in Connecticut
Eh. Another "Based on true events". You know what that means? Someone lived in the house with a kid who had cancer and they liked haunted houses. This looks awful and I christen it The Number 46...get it? The Number 23 the sequel? Because Virginia Madsen is in it and the movie will suck as bad as The Number 23. Whatever. This is about a family who moves to Connecticut because their son has cancer. I don't know why you would move to Connecticut if your kid has cancer, but maybe you would. They find things in the floorboards, of course. And then weird things start happening because it used to be a morgue. O.K. The the kid writes on himself, or did he? And shadow-crows fly around while everyone screams, eventually to either run/fall up the stairs or run/fall into the woods where they will no doubt find the graves of the people who were murdered during a seance/drunken orgy back in olden times. Sounds good doesn't it? No.



My Name is Bruce
I love Bruce Campbell and his ability to make fun of himself in the most adorable way possible. This looks funny and probably is...
It's about these kids in some hick town who go to Bruce, because he is Bruce Campbell the only action star that can speak English, for help in stopping the monster Guan-di, the protector of bean curd. He was summoned by some teenagers to protect the souls of some Chinese miners of yesteryear. They get Bruce to come stop him. I really love the part where he is running away, firing blindly into the people following him. Classic.



That's all for now folks! I'm off to do something else.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

True Blood Episode 7 "Burning House of Love"

It just gets better and better!



Sam is steppin' it up, Bill's looking hot and dumping someone in the lake, Sookies been sucked on, crazy vampires have come to Merlotte's, Tera's mom is well, a drunk...

Love it!

Michael Caine "Bongo in the Congo"

This is an extra on the DVD for the movie 'Stella Street', which is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It's from a British comedy troupe that does amazing impressions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yH0I4xHsIE

Sorry no embed...it was 'disabled by request'...
go check it out!

PIE! A public service announcement from Kevin and Olivia and pie!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tip your waitress!

I love this scene...so I share it with you.


Dead Space

I saw this trailer for this video game at the theatre this weekend. It looks scary and good. I want.


Thursday, October 9, 2008

PG Porn




I love Nathan Fillion. So here is some Nathan Fillion!

Thursday night television.

All week there is never a night that is chock-full of shows worth watching. None that is, except Thursday night.

Tonight there is Earl and the new show Kath & Kim on NBC at 8:00 and 8:30.

9:00 brings one of my favorites, Supernatural. The boys have to deal with a man who is turning into a flesh-eating monster! Yum!



And because every once in awhile there is some truly gross parts of Supernatural...here is a clip of the episode for tonight!



Then at 10 there are two, count 'em TWO shows that may be worth watching.

One is Life On Mars. A remake of the BBC series. It looks halfway decent and stars Jason O'Mara (yum!)



Then there is Eleventh Hour, also on at 10 on CBS. It has Rufus Sewell, that's enough for me to watch at least once to see if it's good.



Granted this trailer isn't that great but I couldn't find one quick enough!

And enjoy the perennial favorite and set your DVR's for tonight's episode of It's Always Sunny!


Enjoy tv tonight!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

This week's trailer roundup!

Shiver- At first I thought ick! But then when I saw that it was from one of the producer's of Pan's Labyrinth (amazing) and The Orphange (stunning) and is most likely Spanish and probably scary and good. So even though the trailer isn't that great and is seriously lacking in some Don LaFontaine action (R.I.P.)



Just Buried- Maybe funny? It seems like a storyline that has been done before and done better. But it is a lower budget film, so maybe?



Curious Case of Benjamin Button- This looks good.

True Blood Episode Episode 6 "Cold Ground"

This is another tidbit for Terri...

Looks like Jason is falling apart even more...and of course, some more people have sex.
Please don't ever ask if this show is appropriate for your children...it is not!


Monday, October 6, 2008

Literal version of Take On Me Video

I saw this on Attack of the Show and checked out the full version on You Tube. Here it is...It's freakin' great!

Dharma Wants You

Dharma doesn't want me because I am a cheater! Yes, as I have said a million times, I like to cheat at games. I'm not proud of it...yes I am! I don't do anything else wrong except cheat at games...it's not like I smoke crack!

Anyway, LOST has these ARG (Alternate Reality Games) they do when the show is off-air. Last year it was really cool and was like a search for Flight 815 at find815.com. It starred this little known, to us, Australian actor Rodger Corser who played Sam Thomas a man searching for his partner who was a flight attendant on Flight 815. He is convinced she is alive and the the flight did not disappear and you go along with him on his search for her and the plane. It ends with him finding the plane on the bottom of the ocean; much like how the season began. I really wanted the show to tie in the characters because I just enjoyed seeing Rodger every week when I played and I was intrigued by his character.



Well this year is not that interesting...it's interesting, but not crazy cool! At least not yet. It's called Dharma Wants You and it is a recruiting operation. Basically every week or so comes a new 'test' and you play it and get ranked. Well, if you are like me and 'cheated' on some or all of the tests, you are deemed "Black Swan" for the last one. I don't know what that means really, and won't know until December something...



Ah hell, who the hell and I kidding...no matter if it's good or bad, I will watch and play this shit. One I love J.J.. Two I love LOST. And three I love ARG's.

I'm off to play the True Blood sweepstakes.

Friday, October 3, 2008

A sequel to '300'?

It'll be called '600'. Or, Th3ee00(2). I'll go with the last one.

Oh, some ass also thinks it's a good idea to make a sequel to one of the best movies EVER! Blade Runner! Yeah.
If you are not familiar with this sci-fi classic then let me enlighten you: Harrison Ford plays Rick Deckard, a Blade Runner. His job is to hunt down rogue Replicants (Cyborg's, if you will) and kill them. This time around he is charged with finding a group of four, led by Roy Batty, who hijacked a ship and have returned to Earth to find their maker.
The film is a sweeping, dark, bleak vision of the future, a future where humans have created machines to work for them and they, of course, don't like it. Now they are outlawed and are to be shot on-site.

It was also released in an awesome collector's edition last X-Mas which had all of the versions of the movie (there were like 5)...and a little briefcase, unicorn and a bunch of other shit.

Because there are like 5 different trailers, here is the best scene in the movie and one of the phrases in history:


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Detroit Mayor Race

Ummm...so Coleman Young Jr. wants to run for Mayor of Detroit. Yeah, remember what his father did for this city over 20 years? Whether you are black or white, are you sure this is who you want to "run" the city? Think of him, think of the last mayor, 'ol Kwame-kins, don't you want more for your city? Like population, businesses, goodness?

I know the interim mayor hasn't been in office long, but so far, I like him.

Think about it...

Monday, September 29, 2008

More True Blood! I am OBSESSED with this show!

I gotta say, I can't get enough!

It's like watching a dirty novel...I don't read those books, but holy shit! Vampires are really kind of sexy and hot!

Here is a trailer with some clips from yesterdays episode. This is for you Terri!
Also, there is something 'off' about Sam...I am intrigued and want to know why (SPOILER) he was rolling around in the bed of the girl, Dawn, who was just killed! Sam is hot though...


I take back my comment about Desmond Harrington

A few days ago, I made a comment about Desmond Harrington needing a new agent because he was in that shitty movie 'Exit Speed'. I don't take back the fact the movie looks/is shit, I do however take back the thing about his agent.

This is why: He's on Dexter. Yes, that is enough to give him a pass for that shit-storm of a movie. Dexter is awesome!

Here is a promo for this season:


In case you are not familiar with this show (you should get familiar with it, the first two seasons are on DVD) it is about Dexter Morgan a forensic blood spatter expert in Miami, Florida. That's his day job. By night he kills serial killers...a serial killer who kills serial killers...dark, sadistic, awesome. Watch it. Here's a clip!

I loved the Doakes/Dexter exchanges so I put up two of them. Might be a little Spoilery!





Skip about midway for the best part and ignore the 3 weeks left thing at the end...some tard added that to the youtube video I yanked.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Planet Earth and Earth

I'm taking it down a little with this post; no snarky, no cynical, just goodness.
I went to check Miracle at St. Anna yesterday and I was surprised by the trailer for the DisneyNature film "Earth". I didn't know it was Earth at first but I knew it had some of the footage from Planet Earth, the breathtaking mini-series that was shown last year in the U.S. on the Discovery Channel.

Here is a trailer:


Planet Earth - Trailer - More amazing video clips are a click away

Planet Earth was a mini-series that originally aired in the U.K. on one of the BBC channels and was bought by the Discovery Channel to be shown over here in the U.S. As part of that cost for the show, they had to put a lot of commercials in, a LOT of commercials in. So, with the addition of the commercials, the show had to be cut up a lot and so the original narrators (David Attenborough) musings were off. So the Discovery Channel hired Sigourney Weaver to narrate the U.S. version. While I preferred her soothing voice, the amount that was cut out of every episode was really annoying. For example, there is a part of the show at the end that the Discovery Channel version called "Capturing the Moment". In the U.S. this was about a five to ten minute, if you were lucky, behind the scenes look at some part of the episode. Well, the BBC version has like a 10-20 minute look into the episode. So basically, if you buy (and you should) buy the BBC version; it must say BBC on it!

Planet Earth covered everything with little to no idiot humans appearing, except in the episode about caves, to muck it up. It simply showed breathtaking and majestic views of this planet. One of the best parts is the use of a camera that takes like 5000 frames a second, or something. In the Fresh Water episode there is a part that shows this camera in action when some Crocodiles attack some Wildebeasts; it was amazing and the look on the Zebras face is priceless; I couldn't find a clip. This is truly an amazing program and one every person should own and watch.

Here is one of my favorite clips: It's about one of the various species of Bird of Paradise.


So back to the Earth part. When I went to the theatre and realized that now Disney came in and made this a feature length program that will be out Earth Day 2009, I was flabbergasted and excited all at the same time. I am not kidding, this show makes me cry...it is SO amazing and beautiful. Buy it, watch it, love it, and even if you don't like nature programs, you will be awestruck by how this show/movie was shot, framed, edited and broadcast!

Here's the trailer for the movie!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Britney Spears "Womanizer"...it's shit! Surprise!

O.k. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to listen to a new Britney Spears song, but I did.
I don't really get the song because it's just the same thing over and over again. Something about front-a-ah-ah and using the same a-ah-ah after saying 'are'...Maybe whoever wrote it could come up with a word that didn't require using a-ah-ah to make it fit in the song? No? O.k.
It also sounds like they asked Britney to sing into an empty cardboard toilet paper roll. I say Britney, I of course mean The Computer. Actually, the more I listened to it (once) it really reminded me of when you open a youtube video and then accidentally click on it and it starts playing again in another window and the sound is all mashed together...I think that's what they did for this song.
Look, I know that she (did) uses her body to sell music and that was really all it was about. Pervs like my old boss at Blockbuster loved it, he ogled her when she was 15; he was also the guy who turned the air on all the way in the store in case any hot chicks came in with no bra on...yes, he did. But, come on, shouldn't she be required to be able to hold a note? Just a single note...and like my buddy The Superficial Writer said, I don't think monotone is a key. (http://www.thesuperficial.com/)

If you don't like having the use of your ears, go to the above link and find the story about the "song".

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Splinter! This week's trailer o'crap!

Here's another shit-storm of awful I found out on the Internets!

It's called Splinter and it's a horror movie. About Splinters. Yeah...

Roughly I think it's about two loving young people (guy from stuff and girl from Mercury commercials) who go out to the country for the weekend (When is it anything but?). Then they get car jacked (?) by two rednecks (one male, one female). Somehow they go to a gas station and the one redneck girl goes in to the bathroom and there is someone inside and she's like "oh, I'm sorry" EEEEEEEKKKK! And then there is some kind of "creature", I don't know, that throws splinters (?) at them. Although, it looks a lot like spines, which aren't really splinters. Splinters are pieces of wood, spines could be something on an animal...this is stupid!

I really like the part at 0:52 where there is a cougar sound? I don't get that. Then at 1:16 there is something that sounds a lot like they stole the Predator-death rattle sound from Predator. What is this "beast", you ask?. It's either A.) A giant peice of wood, brought to life by either a science experiment or nuclear waste being poured on it, or B.) they ripped off the plot to Jeepers Creepers making it some monster that every 40 years comes to life to steal pieces of wood from abandoned buildings that time forgot (the very gas station our fair idiots are trapped in!). So...sit back, watch and enjoy what hopefully will not make it into theatres and instead go straight to the Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie night!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

True Blood

I like this. It's on HBO. By the creator of Six Feet Under. REALLY not appropriate for children, or those who are "sensitive"...seriously, if you get easily offended by nudity, swearing and/or vampires...you might not like it!

This is for Terri, because she loves this stuff and doesn't get the station.

Olivia Munn...my hero! Or Heroine!

Not sure if anyone is familiar with this lady, the co-hostess on G4's Attack of the Show, but she is who we should all aspire to be; us women that is. Unless you are a man who wants to be a woman...then whatever. She is so funny and has the best comedic timing; second only to the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia people...here is a clip I found really funny!






Then, watch her and the adorable Kevin Pereira on Attack of the Show on G4 at 7:00pm.

And, just for fun, here's some commercial TV Spots for It's Always Sunny:

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Heroes Premiere...

Yay, Heroes started last night. And true to form, I can't remember a damn bit of anything that went on. I don't know why, but I watch the show everyweek and buy it every time it comes out on DVD, but when someone asks what the hell went on in the last episode, I draw a damn blank! So that's where the Internets come in. I'm not going to spoiler anything in Heroes, because it will take FAR too long to go over.

"The Second Coming"
Here is what happened:
- We find out who tried to assassinate Nathan, and why.
- Hiro (I want to pinch those damn cheeks) gets a message from his Dad and it's some kind of formula, well, half of a formula.
- It gets stolen by some chick that moves fast and has retarded-ass hair! I mean, WTF? It looks like she took a bleach shower and stuck her finger in a light socket.
- Sylar shows up to get some from Claire (some powers, that is) and ends up (don't read further...I freakin' lied about the lack of spoilers, so...)SPOILERS!!!! taking her damn skull off and poking at her head. He steals her power but without killing her. He does make her unable to feel, though. She asks him if he is going to eat her brain and his response "Claire, that's disgusting", is classic. I am unsure of what exactly he does with the brains then. I mean, he just poked in her head and twisted something and I've always wondered how he gets the powers exactly.
- Oh, fuck it, there might be SPOILERS from here on out, so watch the show on TV (G4 tonight), the Internets, or On Demand before you finish reading this...
- Future Peter, who is hanging around, sends Parkman to where we later learn is Africa (?).
- Mohinder creates this serum from Maya which can make anyone have some powers that are taylored to their individual chemistry.

"The Butterfly Effect"
- Hiro sees Ando killing him and stealing the formula from him, when he goes into the future. He doesn't mean to, but he's after the girl with the dumb hair and he jumps too far...oh, and the city he's in goes all ka-blooey too!
- Nikki is no longer Nikki, or never was. Oh, and she freezes some dumbass Terminator-style and he crumbles into icky pieces and melts. Yukkers!
- Sylar kills Bob and when Elle goes to let Noah out Sylar tries to take her power and she...well, she explodes-ish. She also lets everyone out of Level 5. One of which is Weevil...I mean the real Peter whom Future Peter hid there.
- Claire's mommy comes back to take care of her...yeah, right.
- Oh and Mohindar who's all jumpy and hyper starts to experience things...like he can see his pulsing veins and then he goes into the bathroom and starts to peel off icky pieces of his back! Eeeyoooyuck!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Remember this?...

No one else does either.

I was perusing the vault over at http://www.traileraddict.com/ and came across this little gem. And by gem, I mean piece of hardened shit laying in a hole. It's based on a video game (so Uwe Boll) and sucked (it was Uwe Boll). No, I didn't pay money to see this. I watched it On Demand at some point.

On another note...

The Alone in the Dark game came out. Well, the new one. I couldn't find a trailer that was good. But it looked good so I rented it on my Wii...what a piece of unwieldy shit! I spent about an hour trying to get this asshole to jump to this stupid ledge and then got so pissed off, I took it back to the store. It should have been called "Alone in the Dark" the video game, directed and written by Uwe Boll.

This...is what a good scary franchise is: Silent Hill

Or even better: This... The best game EVER! Ever...



I will not be swayed...ever. In fact, I am devoting an entire blog tomorrow to this fucking masterpiece!

"Exit Speed" Bad Trailer Edition

Wow...I saw this on one of my favorite sites Iwatchstuff.com. And because I found it so mesmerizing, so phenomenal, I had to post it here. It may become a new feature...now that I know how to do it!

The trailer gives a little run-down of the titillating storyline. A group of (ragtag rebels?) people are on a bus heading home (or away from the army!) and suddenly a bunch of bikers (?) appear and start to terrorize the bus. Yes, that is what happens. They then drive and drive and drive and somehow hit a biker and then all the other bikers magically disappear! Then "Does anyone get a signal" happens and the biker they hit shoots a gun in their direction! Whoo, intense! Man, what happens next? Then all the bikers come back! And they drive and drive and drive through a forest (?) Suddenly, they are in the dark and Caroline in the City says she'll make the run, she runs. Yeah...again...that was said.

I love how they tell the entire story in the trailer and how the head biker, or crotch-rockettier if you will, does nothing but pop wheelies through the entire "film". Seriously, it's a front wheelie, a back wheelie, can he do a side wheelie...I bet he'll try. When they are at night and near the "hangout" of the bikers, one of them is doing wheelies in a circle (I don't know why either).

I haven't seen this movie (nor, will I ever) but I get the whole thing from the neat 2:17 trailer.

"We stop we die, you understand that? We stop we die" In-tense!

Don't rent this...do not give them cause to make a sequel! Do watch the trailer and laugh.

I also added the "bus attack" scene! Whee, where MORE wheelies occur and the guy splits his legs in the air! OH MY GOD! It's cool! They're outlaws...no, not outlaws, nomads...Hell's Little Angels!



Thursday, September 18, 2008

Tonight...

Tonight on the cornucopia is:

Season Premiere of Supernatural. Dean get's out of hell! Whee!

Season premiere of It's Always Sunny in Philadelpia. Charlie and Dee eat people-meat! Hooray!

Season Finale of Burn Notice: A heist occurs! BAM!

Reviews later!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Season Finale of Supernatural, "No Rest For the Wicked"

What does Supernatural have going for it, besides the incredibly beautiful Jensen Ackles (seriously the most beautiful man on the planet)? Well, it has creepy shit and seriously can make you not want to turn the light off at night! I mean really. There are humorous episodes, tearful episodes and some majorly scary ones.

After a slimmed down season due to the strike that made me come back to Michigan, damn it, we are looking to a new season that starts Thursday. How the hell is Dean going to get out of Hell? How did he get in Hell, you ask? Well, you see, he sold his soul to the devil in order to save Sam. So after a year the hellhounds will come for him (they did) and drag his ass off to Hell (they do) and he will, we assume, spend the rest of eternity in Hell (he does?). Considering that Dean is one of the two main characters and the show is coming back for another season, we will guess that he isn't dead, or that he comes back from the dead...but isn't a zombie! So how will this happen and what will the new season consist of? Will our heros go off after the demon Lillith? Will Ruby be back (the answer to that is no. Unfortunately, due to budget restrictions they are not bringing Katie Cassidy back even though her character was quite compelling).

For those of you not familiar with this fantastic show, you know because you are afraid of the fact that it is on The CW, it started as a show about two brothers that are trying to locate their father, who is a demon hunter. He went off after the yellow-eyed demon who killed their mother and marked Sam when he was just a baby. They found him at the end of season one and it appears he made a deal with the yellow-eyed demon to take his soul instead of Deans, after Dean was seriously injured in a car crash right at the end of season one. So Dad is gone and Dean is back and very angry about the loss of dad. Then at the end of season two when Sam is stabbed and dies, Dean makes a deal with a demon to save Sam and take him in a year. So Sam is saved and Dean is on a deathlist in a year, oh and they let loose a shit-ton of demons in the process. This brings us to the end of last season where Dean dies. And ends up in Hell, changed to...chains and screaming for Sam.

Here is a list of what the brothers have come across over the years:
Demons
Wendigo
A sort of Rusalka spirit in a lake
Bloody Mary
Shapeshifter
Hookman
Bugs
Yellow-eyed demons
Creepy-ass malevolent doctor in an asylum
Scarecrow
Faith-healer
Some kind of ghost-truck driver
Sinister family called The Benders
Shadow spirit
Ghost of a deceased depression-era farmer...or is it?
Witch that steals life-forces
Ghost painting
Reaper
(eeeep!) Clowns
Vampires
Angry dead girl spirit
Guy who uses powers to make others do what he wants
America's first serial killer, H.H. Holmes
Hellhounds
Croatoan (Roanoke, VA)
Imaginary friend in an old hotel
Tricksters
Repeating ghostly encounters
Djinn
Changelings
Cursed rabbit foot
Sin
Bedtime stories coming to life
Ghost ship
Anti-Claus
Crocotta

So...watch it!
Thursday.
9pm
CW